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| JOB DESCRIPTION: PARENT |
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JOB TITLE :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma, Maaaaaaa.Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pop, Pops. JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, self-sacrificial team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment.Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required. RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.Regular parent education seminars important for Continued Professional Development Must be willing to be disliked, at least temporarily, until someone needs a lift, money or a favour. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility. POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass youPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required.On-the-job training on a continual challenging basis. WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
No financial CompensationHugs & Kisses, sometimes gratitude, warm & fuzzy feelings are your return on investment. Ultimately, you pay your kids! Offering frequent raises in pocket monies and bonuses will be expected. A lump-sum payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that university will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only give more. BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growthand free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right. Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do... or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job. (If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!) |
Our clients said....
I applaud your efforts to organise parenting workshops, it's certainly a very worthy initiative. I … see it as one of the most important preventative steps a community can make towards safeguarding and optimizing the well-being of children.
Another great seminar, clear, practical, professional. It was excellent!more...
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